Whiners and Complainers
It started out as an innocent conversation about family. The next thing you know, you’re staring into space and you feel like the walls are caving in. They just keep going and going. It’s not that you don’t want to listen, it’s just that they keep complaining. And whining. And finding something wrong with just about everything. If you’re dealing with Whiners and Complainers, you don’t have to sit through every derogatory comment and whiny complaint. Savvy, socially adjusted people today are combating chronic whiners and complainers, but not in the way you think.
People who whine and complain
The common mistake most people dealing with whiners and complainers make is trying to “fix” them by being overly positive or rebuking them for how you think they are behaving. Trying to convince a complainer that the situation isn’t “as bad as you think it is” oftentimes is met with even more complaining. Complainers don’t see themselves and negative. Actually, they see the world as a negative place and they are reacting to it. When dealing with whiners and complainers, try not to tell them to “look on the bright side.” It’s even worse when you attempt to bring shame on them for feeling the way they feel. It often makes the situation worse.
People who whine and complain actually are often seeking empathy or sympathy for their issues. Oftentimes, they simply want a shoulder to cry on, or someone to simply understand where they are coming from. The quicker you can realize this, the quicker you can show the sympathy that your complaining partner is looking for. When you show them that you understand how they feel and can see where their pain is, they are more likely to stop complaining because their feelings are validated.
It can be a challenge when dealing with whiners and complainers simply because of they are often not open to advice in changing the situation. Many would like to wallow in their misery and as the old saying goes, “misery loves company.” But just because someone is constantly complaining and seemingly miserable doesn’t mean you have to join them.
Keeping a positive attitude and continuing to move past the difficult points in your own life can serve as an example for the person in your life that constantly complains. It’s best that your actions speak louder than your words, and in difficult times you can point to how you overcame hardships and struggles. But at the end of the day, a complainer’s issues belong to them.
It isn’t your job to change them. But if you care about the individual, the best method in dealing with whiners and complainers is to show them that you understand.