What’s Really Going On?
Remember that song? Marvin Gaye was a cultural Icon and many of his song lyrics spoke to the cultural movements and environments of that period. Wide-spread social injustices and relational issues were a direct result of the “free love” emphasis of that particular era. The way people are treated both in and outside close relationships does matter in the overall scheme of life. So, what's really going on?
Today we have literally a ton of “social media”. Everyone seems to be communicating on some level but our actual relations are literally in shambles- emotionally stressful, and completely dysfunctional. How could there be so many people communicating with each another and yet not have a clue how to get along and make their relationships work? What's Going On folks?
We need each other
Most of us are great at our jobs but absolutely lousy at relationships. Because there are very few people we can be openly transparent with. A lifelong friend of mine called me threatening to commit suicide because he just couldn’t take his wife leaving him and their twelve-year-old son for another man. He had recently had a massive stroke and was barely mobile when she decided to leave. And his situation represents only a tiny fraction of our current relationship state. A total disaster. This is the first modern generation to literally expect failure in relationships. Many Americans plan to fail in their relationships. What's Going On?
Embarrassment and confusion
Proof of this is the proliferation of prenuptial agreements. We expect our marriages not to work, our children to have a multitude of problems resulting from ‘parent roulette’, resulting in lives lonely and stressed-out. Many of us have learned to wear masks. We go around pretending our marriages and relationships are “great” but deep down we know that something is incredibly wrong. We are constantly attempting to normalize shame, embarrassment and, confusion. More importantly, we don’t want our children to know that our relationships are failing and therefore failing them.
So what has gone wrong? What are we missing? Why are so, so many people having such a hard time relating to each other, our spouses, and our children? What do you think?