What Turns Women On?

Do you want to know what turns women on? Get in line, my friend. Men have been trying to solve this riddle since time immortal. And let me tell you, the answer is bound to be complex; when you're dealing with attraction, you're also dealing with all of the millions of moving parts that go into making up human relationships in general.

The good news is that we live in a time of rapidly increasing knowledge about human sexuality and attraction in fields ranging from biology to cognitive science to psychology to sociology and, furthermore, dating and relationship coaches continue to gain popularity and expertise as they refine their suggestions and continue to uncover the time-tested techniques of heart-breakers from days of yore. By now, a basic Google search is likely to yield the same tips rehashed in new diction. But don't despair. There are a few lesser-known but more potent pointers. Read about them below:

What She Wants

Survive her Tests: Pickup Artists have landed a bad reputation in recent years, but they did come up with some solid concepts that shouldn't be ignored. One of the most important is the idea that women test the men they are attracted to. Long story short, she tests you because she wants to know two things. First, she wants to know you're a cool guy who won't judge her. Second, she wants to know you're a solid guy who won't chicken out if she opens up to you about her sexuality. If you're going to seduce a woman, you need to show her that you're cool and solid by passing her tests. Every time a woman says or does something that embarrasses you in a group if you survive it with ease and grace, she'll grow more attracted to you. In other words, a woman's tests are an invitation to turn her on. Bust out your sense of humor, your personal style, and get her excited about having met a cool and solid guy.

Touch

There are a few ways to touch a woman that have been shown both scientifically and anecdotally to trigger physiological and emotional arousal in a woman. You'll have to consider each of these in the context of your relationship with a given woman and make sure you're touching her in a way that feels consensual yet exciting to her. With that in mind, you want your touch to convey masculinity, sensuality, confidence, protection, and mindfulness.

When you first meet a woman who you find attractive, hold out your hand with your palm up as you introduce yourself. When she places her hand in yours, hold it firmly and warmly, place your other hand on top, look at her directly in the eyes, smile, and see if you can keep her at this moment for about two seconds. Then, quickly, release her hand and look away. As you get to know a woman in a social setting find excuses to touch her arms and shoulders. This is best done when you're both laughing. You'll want to firmly grasp her arm or shoulder and then very lightly nudge her away.

Stimulation

Finally, when you get to know her well enough, place your hand on the small of her back. Make sure your touch is firm, confident, and mindful here. Nothing gets a woman more aroused than a firm hold on the part of her back that meets her hips, but you need to do it in the right way and at the right time. There’s One more detail about touch. You may have noticed a pattern of touching her and then either looking away or nudging her away.

Think of touching a woman like playing drums in a jazz band. It's a complicated rhythm upon which the rest of the dance of seduction can be established, and an integral part of what makes a rhythm good is the creative use of silence. The refrain in music leaves the listener wanting more and anticipating what will come next. So when you break touch, you create some mystery, some creative space for attraction to grow, and you prime her for your next touch.

Voice

Women love a sexy voice. What makes a man's voice sexy? A deep voice is good but rare. All too often you have dudes straining their vocal cords in a pathetic attempt to sound like Barry White. It's way sexier to speak deliberately and authentically. If you can convey authenticity and confidence in who you are with the tone and quality of your voice. That's what turns women on. Here's the trick. Find something you like to read: It could be the newspaper, a novel, a blog, anything. Now, place one hand just above your diaphragm, which is about where your ribcage ends above your abs. Start to read aloud whatever text you've chosen, and as you read, see if you can make your voice come from where your hand is placed on your chest. This is where actors, public speakers, and confident people speak from. Once you train yourself to speak from your diaphragm, you'll start to convey confidence, and in turn, you'll start to feel more confident. Women love this. This turns women on.

Know Yourself

This is the most important one. You can learn all of the dating tips and seduction techniques in the world. If you don't know yourself or what you're seeking in your pursuit of women you'll only foster an unfulfilling and vacuous dating life. If that's not enough to convince you, here's two more points to consider. First, women love a man with self-confidence. True self-confidence is the courage and gumption to know oneself inside and out. Second, and this one is even more important, all of the rules you learn about dating, relationships, and attraction over a lifetime need to be adapted to your particular temperament and the relational context in which said rules are being applied. Know who you are and what you're seeking in a given relationship. What turns you on, and what are you comfortable with? As a man, you bear the burden of initiating, so you need to know yourself well enough to recognize when you're ready to ask for a woman's number, go for the first kiss, or otherwise express your sexuality and invite her to express hers. This is what turns women on.

Finally

Finally, the only way you're going to get to know yourself in dating, relationships, and seduction is to get out there. You must get to know women, make some moves, learn from your mistakes, and find some success. Eventually, you'll find your inner-Casanova. You've got to be ready to take rejection here and there. But if you can learn to recognize a woman's tests, convey masculinity and your own personal sexuality in a socially appropriate way through your touch and tone of voice. And if you can know yourself well enough to know when you're ready to convey a more explicit interest in a woman. By that time you'll have found your own unique and personalized strategy for turning any woman on. Good luck and happy dating!

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