If you are considering remarriage, or already remarried, you may be feeling fear and insecurity. You may be feeling unsure of “trying again”, or worried that your new marriage will fail as well and wondering how to secure it. Or, you are already in a lasting relationship and wondering “what comes next?”.

Things to Know Before Remarriage

No matter what phase of life you are in, there is one characterization that needs to be focused on, and it has nothing to do with another person.

Each stage of life and relationship, particularly remarriage, requires a great deal of self-exploration and understanding. The first step of achieving your goals is first knowing what those goals are. The first step of building a lasting relationship is understanding the sacrifices you will personally need to make and assuring yourself that you are willing to make those sacrifices.

Considerations For Remarriage

What all that means, is that the next step you need to take, no matter what your situation is, is to decide what you want. Some questions that will help you get started are:

1. What area of your life are you most unhappy with?

2. What is your greatest desire for your life right now and for the future?

3. What would you like to avoid more than anything else?

4. What are your priorities? Family, money, good-will, fun?

Once you know what you want, it’s important to figure out if it is realistic and legitimate. Many of our hopes and dreams need to be broken down into steps to achieve them, including those for our relationships especially remarriage. It is unrealistic for a 17-year-old high school dropout who is living on her friend’s couch to make marrying a millionaire account executive her first goal. In order to reach that goal, she needs to accept the fact that she needs to make herself desirable to a millionaire account executive by increasing her life status and education.

We also often create goals for ourselves based on what others or, society, want for us. These goals are often not honest; society says women should be very thin and wear a lot of makeup to be beautiful, but making that a goal is both dishonest and unrealistic for most women. While a lot of women want to be “beautiful”, very few want to be stick-skinny, unhealthy, hungry, and coated in layers of heavy makeup. Our goals must always be based on our perceptions while disregarding the perceptions of society and – sometimes – family.

To lead a happy and successful life, you must “dare yourself to be different” while learning to cherish that difference.

Theodore Lovelace



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