Many of our hopes and dreams need to be broken down into steps to achieve them, including those for our Relationship Goals. It is unrealistic for a 17 year old high school dropout who is living on her friends couch to make marrying a millionaire account executive her first goal. In order to reach that goal, she needs to accept the fact that she needs to make herself desirable to a millionaire account executive by increasing her life status and education.
Reaching Relationship Goals
We also often create goals for ourselves based on what others or, society, want for us. These goals are often not honest; society says women should be very thin and wear a lot of makeup to be beautiful, but making that a goal is both dishonest and unrealistic for most women. While a lot of women want to be “beautiful”, very few want to be stick-skinny, unhealthy, hungry, and coated in layers of heavy makeup. Our relationship goals must always be based on our perceptions while disregarding the perceptions of society and – sometimes – family.
5 Questions to Ask Regarding Your Relationship Goals
To lead a happy and successful life, you must “dare yourself to be different” while learning to cherish that difference. Some questions you should ask yourself to help guide the process of realizing your relational goals are:
1. Do I have all the tools I need to achieve my goal?
2. Is my goal realistic and doable right now?
3. If my goal were handed to me, would I be able to keep it “alive”.
4. Is my goal what I want, or what those around me want for me?
5. Will my goal aid in my future health and happiness, and overall well-being?
Once we know what our primary relationship goals are, and if they are honest and realistic, we can break them down into an array of short-term goals. Short-term relationship goals are easier for us to handle – they allow us to track our progress and get feelings of achievement throughout the process. If your goal is to find a partner, break down that process into smaller relationship goals. Often times, our desire to have a relationship over-rides our need to be ready for one. Healthy relationships based on solid relationship goals can only happen if the individuals in them are healthy.
It is quite possible that what you need to do now to achieve your relationship goals has nothing to do with another person, and everything to do with working toward appreciating, accepting, and loving yourself. The most dangerous games we play in life are with ourselves, and if we don’t play deliberately and honestly, we often lose.
We lie to ourselves, over or under-rate our abilities and achievements, and – most harmfully – convince ourselves that having a partner will make us happier people. But happy has to come from inside; you cannot expect another person to be happy around you if you cannot enjoy your own company. What we do now – in this moment – is what defines who we are and if we will succeed or fail. The choices we make, the goals inclusive of the relationship goals we set, the deliberation of our own lives, are all we can ever really count on, because if we fall apart, chances are that everything around us will fall apart too.
Remember the 5 Questions To Ask Regarding Your Relationship Goals……