God is relational.
God is pro-marriage. God is pro-sex in the right context. “God is love……”
There is nothing wrong with wanting a relationship with the opposite sex. But, we must understand that as long as our definition of a successful relationship is based on faulty programming we are going to experience Relationship Failures.
One of the major false beliefs that we must let go of is that we need another person in our lives to make us a whole person. As long as we believe that someone else (other than God), has the power to make us happy and complete then we are setting ourselves up to be victims and guaranteeing relationship failures. God says in His Word that “we are complete in Him…..”
Defined by Society
When my self-worth is based on people, places, things, money, property, prestige, looks, talent, and intelligence, then I have been set up by society to be a victim. People will not always do what I want them to do; property is destroyed, lost, or taken; money disappears; looks change and bodies spread. Everything changes but God and the love He has for us. All external conditions and appearances are temporary and will soon fade away. This is why it becomes so important to get to know God so that you can begin to realize that you do have worth apart from how society defines you. We are God’s sons and daughters. We are spiritual beings living in a natural world; therefore, our worth is not in any way tied to this delusional realm or to any temporary condition or circumstance. We are “unconditionally” loved by God.
Skeletons Jumping Out of The Closet
The single biggest problem with many relationship failures is that there are far too many people involved. A romantic relationship is supposed to be only two people in partnership sharing their hearts, minds, bodies, and souls with each other. Anyone who has not been healed from people and events from their past is bringing “emotional baggage” into the relationship. When we are not healed we react subconsciously to emotional wounds and old programming from past relationships and are therefore being emotionally dishonest in our relationship in the present. We are mostly reacting to how we felt in a similar situation in the past which hinders us from clearly and appropriately responding in our present relationship, causing us to be emotionally unfair to that person. When we are acting and reacting from past hurts those actions generally have very little to do with the situation(s) we are in or with the person we are dealing with at the moment.
Who' Really The Victim?
This is the reason many relationships turn into power struggles about who is right and who is wrong. Or who has more of ‘a right’ to be victimized by the other. We begin to try to rationalize and justify these feelings so that we can deflect the pain from ourselves. We learn to blame someone or something outside of ourselves just to protect our pain. A dysfunctional society that teaches dysfunctional relationships also teaches us to look outside of ourselves for our self-worth, while also teaching us to find someone to blame.
Our wounded past will continue to dictate our life and our relationships until we first experience, appreciate, and receive the love only God can give us. Once we start learning how to recognize when we are reacting and being defensive, then we can start getting honest with ourselves and others and begin to heal emotionally. When we allow God to renew and restore us, only then will we stop living life emotionally in the present solely based on what has happened to us in the past. Then we can start to love and enjoy God, and love and enjoy others fully.
“This ONE thing I do…..FORGETTING about the past…………”