Moving In Together before marriage is often seen as a test or trial by young people in a relationship. However, living together before marriage may ruin your relationship for some unexpected reasons.
Reasons not to move in together before marriage:
Being young and naïve, you tend to assume that moving in together would lead to unlimited sex, romantic bliss and better intimacy. The fact of the matter is when you spend most of your time with the person you have been dating outside of work, you may end up growing tense with each other leading to limited intimacy. If you flash back to your first date, you probably spent a lot of time picking the best outfit, ensuring that you were looking your best and watching carefully what you said. When you now start living together, all these things are forgotten and remember they are the things that made your first dates interesting. The result of all this is that the intimacy in your relationship will start to die slowly due to lack of privacy and the fact that you are with your partner constantly. The element of missing your partner is no longer there and the relationship becomes dull.
Moving in together destroys the boundaries of privacy. You no longer have your bed to yourself, no separate living room and no separate bathrooms. The most challenging thing when it comes to lost privacy is the inability to have your own time and space and boundaries are consistently crossed, which leads to arguments and fights which causes the relationship slowly deteriorate.
During your college days it is normal to share a room with your friends. Those roommates were usually good friends but you still had fights resulting from differences in music choices, cleaning and schedules. When you move in with your partner, you will certainly have fights due to innate differences that you never noticed during the initial stages of your dating. While fights are common in even between married people, they tend to be more frequent when people move in together while still dating.
Laying a solid foundation
The main reason why older generations waited until after marriage to start living together was solidify a commitment that could not be easily broken. Buying a house or taking on a mortgage together signifies a long term commitment. Breaking commitments has serious financial and emotional consequences. This is very different than when people just move in together with no serious commitment.
When you start dating your partner imagination creates a mystery that keeps you intrigued and always thinking about your partner. Once you move in together, all the imagination disappears because now you are sharing the same bedroom, bathroom, and everything else. Your comfort level now becomes greater and more uninhibited. You are no longer awed by your partner because he or she is no longer mysterious to you.
Moving in together actually creates a “downward” spiral both in your dating experience and your relationship. So is moving in together before marriage really worth it?
5 Reasons Why People Should Not Move In Together Before Marriage