Till Death Do You Part
Marriage has its ups and downs. Experts and acquaintances alike remind us that life after the vow is hard work. The good news is that you're not alone; you can count yourself among the millions of married people who wonder from time to time if they chose the right person to stand by, "in sickness and in health, to death do us part". However, what for many is a mere wondering may, for some of us, be a deep inner knowing or a terrible preoccupation that we've married the wrong person.
Are you concerned that you married the wrong person?
Below, you'll find some telltale signs that you may have married the wrong person. These are not guarantees that your marriage is doomed, but they should prompt you to do some soul searching. Relationships are a crucible. Rest assured that, no matter what conclusion you come to, pondering these signs will only inspire your own personal growth and promote the resolution of problems in your relationship. Provided, of course, that you stay mindful of your words and emotions, and that you seek individual and/or couple's therapy if needed.
Signs you may have married the wrong person
There wasn't a honeymoon. You never felt the sparks fly. Or if you did, you were the only one. Or your partner was the only one. Now, sparks don't need to fly all the time. A healthy relationship begins with some reasonable idealization and eventually reaches a state of equilibrium wherein partners view each other as whole, individuated, separate but interdependent people. If the relationship has always been asymmetrical, you and your partner may be facing a fundamentally co-dependent marriage. In this case, it's possible you love each other not for who you are, but for what you can get from one another.
Buttons get pushed a little too often. Every relationship has its ups and downs. But if you or your spouse are constantly flying off the handle, putting each other down, or generally making one another's lives completely miserable, then it may be time to end things.
You Just Know
You just know. If you had to tell someone right now, succinctly and matter-of-factly whether or not you married the right person, what would you say? Sometimes you just know. In fact, one could say that inner knowing is at the heart of all healthy committed relationships. An inner knowing that each partner loves the other is what keeps all of those normally waxing and waning marriages afloat. An inner knowing that you don't love your partner, or that your partner doesn't love you, is a sign that you may have married the wrong person.
So, if any or all of the aforementioned signs are prevalent in you marriage then come to grips with your situation, discuss things openly with your mate, and consider moving on. In relationships partners either grow together or grow apart. Growing together is a wonderful thing but sometimes people just grow apart and accepting that fact and deciding to move on amicably is be wonderful too.
Married To The Wrong Person