Malissa Allen

To close the door on the thought of ever loving again is very easy to do. What we do not realize is we are also closing the door to allow ourselves happiness in all areas of our lives. We are allowing ourselves to trust no longer that God has a plan for us or that life may have something better coming our way, so we give up ever learning to love again.

Learning to love again

There is no lonelier world than in a world where you feel emotional loneliness. We can be in a room full of people and still be emotionally lonely. This is where we become overwhelmed with sadness and resentment.

Choosing to reject friendships, love or simply mingling with new people due to pain from the past is where we go wrong. When we reject others due to past heartache, this confines us to that heartache. It is what will keep you a prisoner to that pain. There are a lot of emotions with a bad relationship. Those emotions stay with us for a long time. By continuing to harbor anger, resentment, and hate, what you are actually doing is preventing yourself from living.

The first step is realizing that you are not responsible for the other people’s actions, they are. By allowing someone else’s action’s to control you is only hindering your own life, not theirs. You are allowing your past life to control your present, as well as your future life. Think about this and let it really sink into your heart and mind, when we allow the past to come into our present, we are inviting our future to look just like our past.

In order to stop living in the past, you have to learn to let go of the past. The memories will always be there, just choose your battles. Grieve your lost love before you decide to jump right back in the fire again. Many people fail to do this causing more heartache along the way. You must find closure to grief, any type of grief of a lost love. Love is a very powerful emotion and before you can properly move forward you must first allow yourself to grieve.

Recognize you need human companionship even if this means slowly getting out and mingling amongst friends. We are designed with the need to be around others and feed off their existence. The longer you keep yourself away from other people, the harder it is to get back out into the world again.

Allow yourself laughter! Laugh, sing, smile, all these things can change your broken heart. I know this sounds so small and simple, and they are, but even the baby steps get you to higher grounds.

Every day allows YOU one step closer to feeling free again. Dress up for work, ask a friend to dinner, go to a movie, tell yourself you’re going to be ok. Now is a perfect time to renew your friendship with God. If it is just to say “Good Morning, help me today”, remember, ‘Baby Steps’.

Learning To Love Again


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