Instant Gratification

The modern world of dating is unique from its past counterparts in many ways. Some ideas have continued to be an important staple, while others have faded out in popularity. There is, however, a new idea that seems to be growing in relationships, and it is one that could be the eventual detriment to the sanctity of the human relationship in the future. The idea is known as instant gratification. Instant gratification is the belief that one is able to enjoy the sexual benefits of a marriage without having to go through with the phases and commitments that come with being married.

Instant gratification has become a cancer to modern relationships because couples believe that they can enjoy the sexual benefits without having to deal with the consequences. To understand why instant gratification is a growing problem in modern relationships, one must first understand how it has become so popular.

Fractured Families

In the United States, the marriage rate is 6.8 per 1,000 population, whereas the divorce rate is 3.6 per 1,000 population. The divorce rate in the United States is an estimated 50%. Half the marriages in the entire country are doomed to failure. This high divorce rate has had a major impact on the families that have suffered severely from divorce, more specifically on the children that have had to deal with their parents separating.

Failure to keep a family together plays a psychological role in the mind of the children as they grow older, which leads to a weakening in the value of relationships. Marriage has become something that the current generations have come to dread. Instant gratification has been the answer to the growing fear of long-term commitment in relationships. It is seen as being convenient because it allows for a two individuals to engage in sexual acts without having to go through with the commitment that is required before engaging. This, however, is flawed and there is a strong reason, or set of reasons, why.

Male and Female Sex Drives

When having sexual intercourse, around the time a woman orgasms, a chemical is released in her body called oxytocin. Oxytocin is the hormone that creates a sense of bonding in women to their male partners. It also is released when a woman gives birth to her child, which explains why mothers are strongly attached to their children by nature. These chemicals interfere with the bodily functions that produce feelings of pleasure, which converts passion into commitment.

Men also produce oxytocin, but not to the same degree that women do. That is why men have a much easier time cheating on their partners than women do. That being the case, the dopamine and norepinephrine pathways are not as inhibited from flowing, which is why men generally have a higher sex drive.

The Result

This is the problem with instant gratification because the purpose of instant gratification is to enjoy the pleasures of sex without the attachment that comes with it. The human body, specifically the human female body, is not designed for instant gratification, and it is because of this conflict of mind over matter that relationships and dating are failing and doomed to failure.

Instant gratification cannot work in the context of dating and relationships because of the way the human anatomy is set up. It creates tension in a relationship, which comes from the psychological, and physical, connection that is formed when two individuals engage in sexual intercourse.

Unfortunately, it continues to be an ideal that many pursue in the context of a relationship, and it continues to hurt the already-weakened family structure and the world of modern dating.


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