It is no secret that relationships nowadays are far more liberated than they were in the past. Nevertheless, it doesn’t mean they have no boundaries. No relationship is ever perfect and every single one will test your ability to stick around or leave. So how do you know if you’re being useful or used in a relationship? Believe it or not, some people stay in a relationship even if they’re Feeling Used because it is their comfort zone.

Feeling Used versus Feeling Useful

You should be in a relationship because you know you can benefit from it emotionally, physically and socially. Both of you should be committed to helping and building each other up. Regardless of the situations that arise, support for each of you is a must. So what happens when the other feels like they’re being used? And how do you determine whether you’re being useful or not? Both situations will need your careful understanding as you develop the relationship.

Feeling used in a relationship is very different from being useful. Feeling used can be the feeling of not being appreciated for the things you have done, whereas being useful regardless of the purpose may involve being exploited, but with the hope that it will be somehow reciprocated and/or positively rewarded.

But being useful is also about giving wholeheartedly, even in the absence of a promised reciprocation. When this happens, the intention is genuine. Investing your emotions in any kind of relationship is a risky matter of give and take. If you cannot balance the two, then you can either be the user or the one being used.

Usually, it is only after a long period of time that you come to the realization that you are being used. When this happens, most of the damage has already been done. Someone outside your relationship however is normally the first one to read the warning signs, which tends to hurt even more.

A person who feels useful in a relationship may realize this the whole time. While they don’t receive anything in return, they are more than happy to give whatever they can offer. Basically, it all comes down to how you categorize the giving part and how much you’re willing to give. Demands in excess of that can make you feel like you’re being used.

Emotional dilemmas are all part of how we understand the people around us and how we react and respond to them. If you choose to stay positive about things, your perception of being used may change, however, if you find yourself constantly questioning the motives of other people, being useful can turn into feeling used.

Feeling Used versus Feeling Useful


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