The Fear Of Intimacy is the inability to share significant thoughts and feelings with a loved one on a personal level. The effects of this fear cannot be overemphasized, it will prevent you from enjoying healthy relationships physically and emotionally with people who matter.

This fear definitely affects the quality of life, and will hinder you from discovering the joys of great relationships. It’s important to figure out the root cause of the fear to be able to overcome it effectively. There are various reasons behind the fear of intimacy, betrayal by a loved one, broken relationships, fear of the unknown, and past abuse are the major causes of this fear.

The thought of opening up ourselves to another person is indeed frightening. There is however untold joys in intimacy but it’s important to first overcome the fear of intimacy. Fear not, because there is hope to overcome this fear by following these simple ways.

10 Ways to Overcome the Fear of Intimacy

1. Seek professional help – see a counselor or a therapist. Fear of intimacy’s most root cause are unpleasant experiences in the past. Counseling will help you overcome the hurt and avoid history repeating itself.

2. Open up. Share your thoughts and feelings with your partner, this will not only help you get closure but it will also help your partner understand you better.

3. One step at a time- “baby steps” can help overcome fear if you are not comfortable enough to jump in with both feet. You can try by getting to know a person really well and by clarifying their motives for desiring to be close to you.

4. Let go of the hurt – if you were hurt before, it’s important to forgive and release so that you can be free to enjoy life.

5. Work on yourself – every good thing needs work, work on whatever it is that is hindering you from experiencing a healthy relationship to overcome the fear of intimacy.

6. Jot down your fears in a journal. This will help you to clearly see and to work on your fears.

7. Don’t let fear control your world. Understand that you have total control of your life, you may not control everything that happens to you but you can sure control how to respond to it.

8. Have a positive outlook about life – know that you are capable of enjoying healthy and rewarding relationships, if you believe it.

9. Appreciate and reciprocate love – learn to give and receive love. No man is an island, we all need love.

10. Believe in God – when you believe in God who is in control of the universe, you will understand He created love for a purpose not to be feared but enjoyed. Spend time in prayer and meditation.

10 Ways to Overcome the Fear of Intimacy

Theodore Lovelace


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