Why We Fear Loneliness

There are few things more powerful in this world than the feeling of loneliness. The idea that you might be completely alone in your interests, train of thought, sexuality, or even something as lax as your music choice can drastically affect your day to day life, often leading to depression or a constant fear of stagnation.

But is there a bigger reason why we Fear Loneliness? Is there any logic behind why that constant battle in your mind that tells you, 'you might not find the one' or 'nobody understands you', drives you crazy and keeps you awake at night?

Well there are some sound psychological studies that have been conducted on exactly that, and with any luck we'll be able to put your worries to rest. You can discover why you're not odd, what the answer is, and why you shouldn't worry about it!

You are a social creature!

Whether you believe in evolution or not doesn't matter here because as long as humans have walked the Earth we've been a band of hunters and gatherers interacting with one another. That means that by default, you are a social butterfly! There are some things that can come into play here, but the general and accepted idea is that humans naturally seek attention and understanding from one another- this means that it's not odd that you desire companionship and understanding from a partner, family member, or close friend. It's part of what it means to be human and you shouldn't feel out of place or scared for feeling this way!

Why do you feel lonely?

This is very subjective, but most people feel lonely as a result of dis-satisfaction either with themselves or with the ideas they have. Some people, extroverts (people who need lots of social interaction in their day to day), feel this way because they actually crave social interaction in order to 'recharge'. Then there are those who have come from extreme weakness or depression and desire an anchor to help them deal with their day to day struggle. What is your reason? Well that will require a bit of introspection, but realize that there can be a lot of causes for the feeling of loneliness and identifying why it is that you feel this way is the first step towards getting over that fear! If you understand what is causing the emotion you can make strides to improve your constitution in those areas so you--

Don't worry about it!

The biggest step in any understanding of fear is to understand why you shouldn't worry about it. Here we hope to figure that out. First off we're going to break this whole thing down into two reasonable categories: Introverts and Extroverts. This will help us identify what kind of person you are so we can figure out what you can do when that fear of loneliness creeps in on you.

Introverts are people who love being alone and 'recharge' when they get time to themselves or with select people they see as 'anchors' in their lives. They usually have favorite music or activities they enjoy that help them separate themselves from society.

As you can imagine Extroverts are quite the opposite, really! They are your social butterflies and charismatic folks who love good conversation and being out in public as much as possible! This means that these people 'recharge' when they are out and about, as we discussed earlier.

What can the Introvert do about feeling lonely?

If you're feeling down as an Introvert you can do a number of things to help improve that feeling and lose that fear! These things include spending time with those 'anchors', enjoying the silence and allowing yourself to be comfortable with yourself while you are alone, and making sure that your self-confidence doesn't falter because you begin to think you need someone else! Don't let fear eat you up and make the alone time you need into something you hate!

What can the Extrovert do about feeling lonely?

Go out! Whether this is to a social or family gathering, your local Library, a club, a party, or whatever is going on! Get out there and be social. That's what fixes Extroverts because you crave that social connection! Make friends online and offline and spend time getting to know the people in your life and don't limit your happiness to dependency on constant companionship! Fear will drive you into thinking you can't find like-minded people, but they're everywhere so don't suffocate!

When you really stop to consider why we fear loneliness it's just a natural reaction to our need for interaction or confirmation of self worth. This isn't inherently bad- but if you don't understand why you feel this way or what you can do about those feelings, it can be very scary. Remember that fear is a powerful motivator!

Don't waste that stimulus! Get out there and remind yourself that you're not alone....... and you won't be!

Why We Fear Loneliness

Heart2Heartrelationships.com

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