Effective Parenting

A few years ago people were just as human as we are today. Like us, they were angry, they lusted, the coveted, and they drowned their grief by one means or another. But, in one very important way they were different from us- they had greater “self-control”. Because they were more self-restraining, they didn’t allow themselves to be ruled by their anger, as a result, the murder rate was noticeably less. They lusted, but they had greater sexual self-restraint, so consequently had sexual contact with fewer people and contracted fewer STD’s. They coveted other people’s money and possessions, but they had the ability to not act on their covetousness, as a result fewer were compelled to rob and steal. In the last 40 years we have lost the virtue (spiritual fruit), of self-control.


The question is not, how did we as a society lose self-control, but rather, how did we as individuals fail to gain what our predecessors had? Self-control is not learned in school. It is not a by-product of getting older. It is certainly not learned from our childhood peers. Self-control is a deep-rooted character trait “trained” into us by our parents in the first few years of life.

The Real Cause

The real cause of America’s decline is that most modern parents were not raised to value self-control as a virtue, so very few parents have trained their children to have it. Nowadays, we train our children to respect animal rights’ and to use condoms and birth-control when their sex drive is ruling them, but we have not given them the virtue they need most of all, that society needs most of all-SELF-CONTROL.

If this society, and the tendencies of this society, are going to be turned around, it won’t be done with government programs, nor by gun legislation, nor by better funded public schools. If this society is to be turned around, it is the parents who must do it. Parents MUST teach their children to have SELF-CONTROL.


A child who learns self-control does not habitually disrespect and argue with their parents when they want their way. A child who learns self-control does not grow up to lie, cheat, steal, murder, or violate their wedding vows. They may feel like arguing with their parents, their teachers, or their boss, but they are able to control themselves and speak with respect. They may feel like going into ‘road rage’ when a driver cuts them off, but they are able to restrain themselves and not escalate a conflict. They may feel like shooting their classmates but they are able to restrain themselves and not do it. They have passions and natural sexual drives, but they aren’t ruled by them. Because their passions are not calling the shots in their lives, they are able to exercise discretion and therefore free to make wise decisions. And because their craving for pleasure does not rule them, they are faithful and responsible.

Relationship Advice: Effective Parenting



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