When faced with cheating in a relationship your initial reaction is often to believe that you should leave. But is leaving always the right thing to do? Well, the answer depends on a number of factors. Is this the first time your partner has cheated? Was it a one-night stand or a full-blown affair? Have you been together long? Do you have children together?
Let’s look at these factors individually:
Is this the first time? If it is the first time your partner has cheated, it doesn’t mean that he or she will do it again nor does it mean that you should call time on your relationship. Do you need to find out why they cheated? Was it simply too much alcohol and the opportunity arose (no pun intended!)? Or was it planned i.e. did your partner agree to meet this other person at a hotel for sex?
Depending on the circumstances involved, you could see this as a cry for help. Maybe you have been ignoring your partner. Perhaps not on purpose but sometimes we forget that our significant others have feelings too. And they do get hurt if we do not spend time with them. So why not sit down and have a chat and explore the future that both of you are hoping for before making any hasty decisions. If you want some help in dealing with your emotions at this difficult time, I would recommend reading The Magic of Making Up. It has helped countless couples resolve similar situations and who knows what benefits you may get from reading it.
Was it a one-night stand or a full-blown affair? People often don’t understand the emotional damage an affair can inflict on the non-cheating spouse. It is one thing to have sex with a stranger. When you have an affair you are sharing not just sex but your soul with that other person. Often you will hear the partner saying they could live with the sex but what they have been unable to deal with is the lies and deceit a full affair entails.
If your partner is a full blown cheat i.e. this is not the first time but simply another notch on his or her bed board, then it may be time to call it quits. Only you can decide what you are prepared to accept but a serial cheater will never change no matter how much they protest otherwise.
If you have only just met and your partner has cheated already, this doesn’t bode well for your future. But if you have been together for years, and this is the first cheating episode, it may just be a sign that things have gone stale between you and need some work.
If you have children together, you need to think extra hard about calling time out on your relationship. Kids can survive in one parent households but they thrive when they have two happy parents sharing the home. So for the sake of them, see if you can work out your differences and hopefully this is the last time you will have to deal with cheating in your relationship.
Dealing With Cheating